The Downward Spiral of 2008, Part I: The Feeling Begins

posted on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 20:29

So here i go again... Day 1 of the 100 day of the cleanze. Between now and April 10, i will ingest nothing but fresh organic juices, teas and superfood powders. All delivered to my doorstep every morning by the good worker elves at The iZO Cleanze.

Many of you who are familiar with my blog may be wondering, "Hey, i thought you did a 100 day cleanze last year?" well...not quite. I had very nobly set out on my 100 day journey on Nov 8, 2007 and was chugging along just fine...until Day 63. I had successfully made it through the holidays in NYC, almost ‘ruining’ Christmas in my mom’s eyes because I wasn’t able to eat with the family, sipping vegetable soups while my parents indulged at my favorite Italian restaurants in the city, my father affectionately muttering ‘You jerk, ya’ when I would proudly tell the puzzled waiter and maitre’d that I wasn’t eating for a few months.

No problem. I weathered the temptations just fine and got back to Los Angeles, safe and sound in the land of the iZO Juice Feast, convinced that I was entering the home stretch of my cleanse- smooth and without effort.

So what in the Universe could have motivated such a breakdown of will-power and integrity, after having weathered the most difficult part of the cleanze by far? It took nothing less than the Love for a powerful woman. It was a 2 year relationship crammed into 1 month. I started going out with her on January 2, and hit those ga-ga ‘in-love’ levels almost immediately. But by February 2 she was married to another man. WTF?!?!?! My mind and heart exploded and imploded so rapidly it nearly knocked me out! What made this especially jarring was that this was my first girlfriend since I was 16! Another WTF!?!?! Why have I not been in a committed relationship in 19 years (which is basically ‘ever’ in my life)? Well, that’s a subject for another blog. But for now, let’s just say that being in a relationship was particularly momentous for me.

My ex-girlfriend (such a preposterous term to me!) is a gorgeous, SUPERsmart, successful business woman who is the president of an international film distribution company, selling BIG markets for major films. Finally I had found someone that was bringing something to the table! Things moved very quickly. By the second weekend of the relationship, we had a romantic getaway weekend to tour the set of a movie her company was producing. We were given total royal treatment on the set, hanging out with the actors and producers, with our own headphones watching the dailies. Wow, I loved my girlfriend. Not only was she such a player, but she was so sweet and adorable, and never over-bearing or annoying. I remember several times on our weekend away marveling at how easy everything was with her. She was kind of perfect. And while I admit I was not yet in love with her, that was a big ‘YET’- I was totally open to the possibility of taking this all the way. However, it seemed that she was falling for me much faster, putting no brakes on at all. I admit I was a little overwhelmed by it. I needed some time to evaluate what was going on here before I took the ‘in love’ plunge. Why rush it? Why not let things unfold at their own pace? Her answer to all of this was perfect: “Let’s take it one day at a time.” YES!

Now, keep in mind that at this time there was an added level of complexity in my life and stress the likes of which I’ve never experienced before. Through a perfect storm of a Harper’s Bazaar article in the January issue focused entirely on the iZO Cleanze, coinciding with New Year’s Resolutions, my company BLEW UP so fast it hurt. There was such a tsunami of demand that the success almost killed us. We were barely able to handle it. In January alone, we doubled our staff, quadrupled our best month’s revenue, juiced the Golden Globes and Sundance celebrity gifting suites, and, all the while, overhauling our entire website. Great time for a heart wrenching distraction of a love affair! Right? Why not!

Fast forward to Sundance. iZO was juicing a celebrity gift suite in Park City, UT (something we’ll NEVER do again!) Sundance was a disgusting over-crowded commercial orgy in blizzard conditions in the middle of Utah. Can you say HELL? Well, try getting dumped in Hell? Yes, from the moment I landed in Salt Lake City, I couldn’t get my girlfriend on the phone. No text, no email, no nothing- and she had always (I mean ‘2.5 weeks’ always) been immediately responsive to communication. Now I couldn’t get a peep out of her. Hmmm... At first I kept my cool. But by the third day of complete silence, I lost it and broke down. Juice and superfoods were just not cutting it. My pain needed comforting. My pain needed food and wine.

To be continued...