Paradigm-Shifting and Course-Correcting

posted on Sun, 01/31/2010 - 21:48

So, I bet you you’re wondering what the hell happened to me since the last time I blogged, especially after all that bravado about writing every day, etc. Well, I’m wondering the same thing. Let me tell you, the cosmic 2x4 took me by storm twice in the last two weeks.

One of these complete breakdowns centered around a paradigm-shattering change in perspective within me and in the way that I view the world, so much so that I haven’t been able to even write about it yet publicly. I’m still processing in private. Trust me- it bugs me that I’m not as transparent as I’d like to be, but I just have to let myself have my process here and maximize the amount of wisdom to be gained from the situation without subjecting my experience to interpretation and opinions of others. I can’t wait to tell you about it though, because it really catalyzes a much higher level of vulnerable, compassionate consciousness within me than I’ve ever experienced. It has truly been a gift, which demands growth, immediately, lest you slip into a deeper level of unconsciousness.

The other big ego-dissolving overhaul that occurred was business related. I’m not going to get into the details on this yet either, but let’s just say the crux of it is pretty much the biggest lesson that humans need to understand in our time on Earth: we are NOT in control of HOW things manifest. Yes, we have free will and certainly play a huge role in ‘what’ we manifest in our realities. But the details of ‘how’ are not really up to us, they’re up to the Universe to decide how things happen. We can certainly put consciousness and action into what we want in general, and we can even try to attempt to plan specifics, but be rest assured that almost all plans of innovation do not go as planned. And this is a good thing because it means that the project is taking on a more complex life of its own beyond the scope that our puny minds can imagine. The trick is to not be attached to the specific details working out exactly as you want them to, but to be free to course-correct at any given moment based on the current state of objective reality. Keep the end goal in mind, but be liberated from controlling the details.

So I had a bubble of expectation burst on me earlier this week, where something I was ‘counting on’, fell through. And it triggered such intense anger and frustration, that my nervous system was completely shot the whole next day, and I had to take multiple naps (my solution to anger). The good news is that when something so profound breaks your ego in half like that, there’s only one attitude to have: I call it the ‘Fuck it!’ attitude. it doesn’t mean that I’m a flake or inconsiderate or thoughtless. But it means that i don’t really care how things turn out as long as I do the best I can do. Once you no longer think you can control anything and you surrender to the higher Universal consciousness, you allow the Universe to materialize your very thoughts and wishes in ways beyond your imagination. If you let the Universe do its thing, you will be amazed at how perfect the outcomes are.

Needless to say, I was brought to my knees (again) with this lesson. It’s hard as an entrepreneur to relax the need to manifest specific details of the business plan, and I’m not even saying that I need to not have specific aims. What I am saying is that I am no longer attached to the expected outcomes of my plans so that I will always be welcoming and fearless of reality in any form. I am trusting that it always works out in the end.

I will update ya'll on my New Year detox cleanse journey so far. guess what, it didn't go as planned. :-) But I'm quite happy with the new developments that are underway at iZO.