Peaceful Surrender

posted on Sun, 02/08/2009 - 21:58

It’s Day 38 of my cleanze and I am feeling more balanced and secure than I have in a long time. I am grounded, yet very high. Everything is becoming so clear, from my skin to my thoughts, to my intentions, to my dreams, both in my deep, peaceful sleep and in the three dimensional world. The improvements are daily. I’ve already gone deeper and more pure on this cleanze than any other cleanze I’ve done so far, even more than the 63 day one.

And I can see the improvements daily. I’m starting to sleep less. I usually need a full 8 hours, but this past week, I’ve been springing up after 6 or 7 hours.

I’m proud to say that for the first part of this so-called ‘Reconstruction’ phase of my cleanse which kicked off simultaneous to the Superbowl last Sunday, I have faithfully executed much of my intended physical/spiritual daily routine schedule. I did Yoga Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I ran on Monday and Tuesday. As well, I did my morning circle rituals four mornings, which isn’t bad. But there’s so much further and deeper to go. I have not yet incorporated Hsin Tao, Kriya Yoga, or the most important one, Meditation. The important thing is that the process has begun and I’m going in the right direction. Beginning is half the battle. It was a particularly trying time to start an era, but birth is almost always messy, why not make it really messy. Due to a last second backlash from Mercury in Retrograde, I found myself caught in an unusually messy shitstorm of delusional conflict. Thankfully, it seems that at least one conflict is resolving as quickly and suddenly as it started. Getting to the other side of a real sweaty situation of any kind always inspires a sort of empowering Nietzsche feeling about ‘that’ which doesn’t kill you. Untouchable transcendence pervades my being. Yet I’m not feeling cocky, just confident with the flow.

Today I experienced some extraordinary breakthroughs in releasing negative patterns that have held me back. I felt a serious shift in being content and satisfied within the present moment, releasing much of the stress and anxiety related to the fear of not achieving certain goals in the ambitious timeframe that I want to achieve them. As is often the case with most entrepreneurs, I am fluent in dreaming big. And I’m also skilled at making something out of nothing. But for the past four years that I’ve been in LA, there’s been an urgency to succeed like a mad race against the clock, and most of it has been tinged with a fear mentality, as in, I often feel like there’s an anvil hanging over my heard. Whom am I kidding? This constant feeling of being behind the eight ball has been with me for the last 12 years of starting companies. It has blossomed into a rather frustrated anger which can rear it’s ugly head from time to time, often causing me turning the knife in on myself in private, and every once in a while directing it at a close friend by carelessly abusing the truth in order to inflict a ‘lesson’.

This last week of challenges, served to humble me so much that it catapulted me at least temporarily beyond fear’s clutches and made me realize even more that it is pointless to try and control anything. The best you can do is to do your best, always, in service to the Universe. Life moves at its own perfect pace, and wisdom reveals itself at its own loving discretion. Pay as close attention as you can, learn from your mistakes, and realize that everything is perfect, and there’s nothing to be stressed about.

In particular, I let go of the specifics of the plan, the who/what/when/where/why/how of my mission and any needs for it to be a certain way or a certain magnitude of success, and made a breakthrough in appreciating my job as a service. The sudden peaceful acceptance and refreshing harmony I felt today was catalyzed by giving my mom a very meaningful gift, intended to help avert something of a health quagmire for her. She recently received a surprisingly high reading of accumulated glucose in her blood, and diabetes does run in the family. She immediately realized that something drastic had to be done about her diet. Upon hearing this news, I was swept with a vision of how I could help her. I set my Mom up with a private one on one consultation with acclaimed dietician, Ashley Koff. Ashley is one of the most knowledgeable experts in diets and nutrition in the world, and I’m proud to be doing business with her with the iZO Cleanze. And now she’s going to help navigate successfully through a very serious chasm in health.

Assuming something positive does indeed come from their meeting, this gift is so fulfilling to not only my mom, but also for me because it represents the fruit of my efforts with iZO. To be able to give back to my parents and other people by enabling them to transform their health, and consequently their lives, is the most fulfilling aspect of my company’s mission, and it is really the only thing that should be motivating me. If one’s ambition is first and foremost to raise the vibration in all things at all times, then everything else will fall in place. Not to worry. It was such a peaceful state to realize this on a glorious day of on and off Sunday rain.